The Evolution of Milk

Discussion in 'Final Fantasy XI - Media' started by Genno, Jul 27, 2007.

  1. Genno

    Genno Whimja

    Before I begin, there is absolutely no sexual innuendos in this post at all. So shut up.

    Apparently, Canada is the only place where milk comes in plastic bags, and not cartons. So I have taken it upon myself as my duty to inform you of the existence of milk bags, and the process in which to extract milk from them.

    Step One
    [​IMG]
    Open your bag that contains your milk bags by removing the bread tag that holds it closed.

    Step Two
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    Open the bag, and inside you will see three separate bags of milk.

    Step Three
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    Hold on there eager-beaver, we only need one of these. So we take one out, close the bag again, and put the others back in the fridge.

    Step Four
    [​IMG]
    Find your milk pitcher.
    Milk pitchers are usually plastic, but really old people for some reason like the have the awkward porcelain ones. The best kind of pitcher, is the one with a handle.

    Step Five
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    Place your milk bag inside the milk pitcher.

    Step Six
    [​IMG]
    Great job!
    Now comes the most difficult part of all! Opening the milk bag!
    Specialty tools such as this fridge-magnet "snippet" have been designed for this very purpose.
    [​IMG]
    If you don't have a snippet, scissors work just as well.

    Step Seven
    [​IMG]

    Use your "snippet" (or scissors) to remove the corner of the milk bag, leaving a hole about the diameter of your thumb in the top corner of the bag.

    Step Eight
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Pour yourself a glass of milk, and enjoy the refreshing taste of milk from a bag!
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2007
  2. Ashmus

    Ashmus Unicorns are kickass!

  3. Genno

    Genno Whimja

    hold on, dammit, imageleech sucks I need to repost all of the pictures.
     
  4. Redd

    Redd Servant of Ultima Banned Account

    Very informative. I like your style Genno, I love the research.

    I'll take 5 bags of milk.
     
  5. furax

    furax Chikubi FC/Leadership

    FFXIV Name:
    Matoi Ryuuko
    Lodestone:
    My Lodestone Profile
    how about I not do all that work for my milk and just twist a cap. ENJOY YOUR POUTINE AND TIM HORTONS, FATTY MCFATNECK.
     
  6. Redd

    Redd Servant of Ultima Banned Account

    I think this bag milk has the potential to make FFXI world peace. I am gonna pass it out to the whole FFXI community.

    Ash gets a double dose.
     
  7. Redd

    Redd Servant of Ultima Banned Account

    Yup, milk bags have saved the peace of Vana'dieal.


    [​IMG]
     
  8. Nekio

    Nekio {Gilfinder}

    I'm with Furax on this one. Way too much work when I stumble back from the bar for a 3AM drunken bowl of cereal. Someone might get hurt.
     
  9. Jotaru

    Jotaru shinobi-no-mono FC/Active Member

    FFXIV Name:
    Jotaru Maru
    We used to have bags of milk in elementary school that were about half, or quarter, the size of those bags. Little itty bitty individual sized ones. You got a straw, a la Capri Sun, jammed it in there (after stabbing your closest friend) and drank. Was fun cuz you could squeeze it if you were really thirsty to quench your thirst faster, or to point the straw, slam your fist down on the back and shoot milk halfway across the cafeteria in a relatively accurate arc.
     
  10. Pitlith

    Pitlith Pitorith Campaign 2008 Ultima Legacy

    My elementary school would give us a bag of milk like that for our lunch. Instead of cutting it, there was a place to put a straw in it.

    ~Pitlith
     
  11. Aquazero

    Aquazero Zero FC/Active Member

    hey looks like way to very lazy til you can drink milk lol
     
  12. Manikalas

    Manikalas Whitegate Sloth

    I don't remember ever seeing anything like what you guys are describing in school. We had miniature paper cartons of milk. They were even color coded for the kids that couldn't "read good".

    What I don't understand is why? Does it keep the milk better longer? And if Canadian kids don't have larger paper cartons, what do they make their periscopes out of in second grade?

    I have so many more questions in my life know that I know this product exists!
     
  13. Arafea

    Arafea Exploding, Toothpick wielding Taru

    Strange canadians...

    -ara
     
  14. Jotaru

    Jotaru shinobi-no-mono FC/Active Member

    FFXIV Name:
    Jotaru Maru
    Seems to me you could pack the bags a lot easier, cartons are kinda funny cuz they have that triangle shape at the top that wastes bunches of room. The bags were also nigh-indestructible, you could probably load a box with 500 and toss it off a roof and lose none, cartons would break maybe? Maybe the cardboard gets bad, or plastic cheaper!? Actually, prolly just cuz it feels like a stress ball and, as stated, you can launch it via a straw across a large room.
     
  15. Aelfinn

    Aelfinn Moose

    indestructible til it met the human foot in the act of stomping.
     
  16. Archain

    Archain Kitteh Paws

    They use the bag milk on the submarines too, but once the sub runs out of the normal stores load of bag milk they swap to UHT.

    I'm not a big fan of the UHT stuff, you can taste a difference.
     
  17. Nekio

    Nekio {Gilfinder}

    The one thing I know is that light ruins milk, which is why I always thought that the half-gallon cardboard containers lasted longer than the full-gallon clear plastic containers.

    Then again, it's highly unlikely that visible light is responsible for making milk bad, and I have no idea if cardboard or plastic absorb UV light better.

    This science tidbit has been brought to you by Dr. Nekio.

    *EDIT*
     
  18. furax

    furax Chikubi FC/Leadership

    FFXIV Name:
    Matoi Ryuuko
    Lodestone:
    My Lodestone Profile
    That's why i always keep my milk in the dungeon. I ceremonially retrieve it then pour it over young, naked, teenage girls wrestling in a kiddie pool. Then I eat some cocoa krispies, awww yeah.
     
  19. Nekio

    Nekio {Gilfinder}

  20. Fodder

    Fodder . Ultima Legacy

    FFXIV Name:
    Fodder Dodder
    I used to wonder why Canadians still lived in caves and royally mount their police.

    Now I understand, it is because they must all be related to Genno.