The Evolution of Milk

[Genno]

Before I begin, there is absolutely no sexual innuendos in this post at all. So shut up.

Apparently, Canada is the only place where milk comes in plastic bags, and not cartons. So I have taken it upon myself as my duty to inform you of the existence of milk bags, and the process in which to extract milk from them.

Step One

Open your bag that contains your milk bags by removing the bread tag that holds it closed.

Step Two

Open the bag, and inside you will see three separate bags of milk.

Step Three

Hold on there eager-beaver, we only need one of these. So we take one out, close the bag again, and put the others back in the fridge.

Step Four

Find your milk pitcher.
Milk pitchers are usually plastic, but really old people for some reason like the have the awkward porcelain ones. The best kind of pitcher, is the one with a handle.

Step Five

Place your milk bag inside the milk pitcher.

Step Six

Great job!
Now comes the most difficult part of all! Opening the milk bag!
Specialty tools such as this fridge-magnet "snippet" have been designed for this very purpose.

If you don't have a snippet, scissors work just as well.

Step Seven

Use your "snippet" (or scissors) to remove the corner of the milk bag, leaving a hole about the diameter of your thumb in the top corner of the bag.

Step Eight

Pour yourself a glass of milk, and enjoy the refreshing taste of milk from a bag!

 

[Ashmus]

sick.

 

[Genno]

hold on, dammit, imageleech sucks I need to repost all of the pictures.

 

[Redd]

Very informative. I like your style Genno, I love the research.

I'll take 5 bags of milk.

 

[furax]

how about I not do all that work for my milk and just twist a cap. ENJOY YOUR POUTINE AND TIM HORTONS, FATTY MCFATNECK.

 

[Redd]

I think this bag milk has the potential to make FFXI world peace. I am gonna pass it out to the whole FFXI community.

Ash gets a double dose.

 

[Redd]

Yup, milk bags have saved the peace of Vana'dieal.

 

[Nekio]

I'm with Furax on this one. Way too much work when I stumble back from the bar for a 3AM drunken bowl of cereal. Someone might get hurt.

 

[Jotaru]

We used to have bags of milk in elementary school that were about half, or quarter, the size of those bags. Little itty bitty individual sized ones. You got a straw, a la Capri Sun, jammed it in there (after stabbing your closest friend) and drank. Was fun cuz you could squeeze it if you were really thirsty to quench your thirst faster, or to point the straw, slam your fist down on the back and shoot milk halfway across the cafeteria in a relatively accurate arc.

 

[Pitlith]

My elementary school would give us a bag of milk like that for our lunch. Instead of cutting it, there was a place to put a straw in it.

~Pitlith

 

[Aquazero]

hey looks like way to very lazy til you can drink milk lol

 

[Manikalas]

I don't remember ever seeing anything like what you guys are describing in school. We had miniature paper cartons of milk. They were even color coded for the kids that couldn't "read good".

What I don't understand is why? Does it keep the milk better longer? And if Canadian kids don't have larger paper cartons, what do they make their periscopes out of in second grade?

I have so many more questions in my life know that I know this product exists!

 

[Arafea]

Strange canadians...

-ara

 

[Jotaru]

Seems to me you could pack the bags a lot easier, cartons are kinda funny cuz they have that triangle shape at the top that wastes bunches of room. The bags were also nigh-indestructible, you could probably load a box with 500 and toss it off a roof and lose none, cartons would break maybe? Maybe the cardboard gets bad, or plastic cheaper!? Actually, prolly just cuz it feels like a stress ball and, as stated, you can launch it via a straw across a large room.

 

[Aelfinn]

indestructible til it met the human foot in the act of stomping.

 

[Archain]

They use the bag milk on the submarines too, but once the sub runs out of the normal stores load of bag milk they swap to UHT.

I'm not a big fan of the UHT stuff, you can taste a difference.

 

[Nekio]

The one thing I know is that light ruins milk, which is why I always thought that the half-gallon cardboard containers lasted longer than the full-gallon clear plastic containers.

Then again, it's highly unlikely that visible light is responsible for making milk bad, and I have no idea if cardboard or plastic absorb UV light better.

This science tidbit has been brought to you by Dr. Nekio.

*EDIT*

Both natural and artificial light can induce quality defects that consumers notice -- and don't like. Light exposure causes chemical reactions in milk that can modify the proteins and fats that are present to produce many negative flavors, ranging from burnt protein (burnt feathers or hair) to cardboard or metallic. The resulting off-flavors are dependent upon various factors such as exposure time, intensity and wavelength of light, and composition of the milk.

To ensure that the highest quality products are on the market, parameters for protecting product quality must be established. To this end, Milk Quality Improvement Program (MQIP) scientists at Cornell University, Ithaca, N.Y. measured the amount of time it took to get noticeable flavor changes. Reduced fat (2%) milk in high-density polyethylene (HDPE) containers were exposed to lighting similar to the retail dairy case (2000 lux), where the average light exposure is 8 hours. The study was conducted from 1999 to 2001. The conclusions? Half of the teen and adult consumers could detect an off-flavor with less than 2 hours of light exposure. Also, the teens were asked how much they liked the milk. They thought that the light-oxidized milk was objectionable. The longer the milk was exposed to light, the less they liked the milk.

Light not only degrades flavor, but also vitamins. Since vitamins are essential nutrients, their loss by photodegradation decreases the nutritional value of food. Vitamins A, C, and B2 (riboflavin) are of particular concern with milk. MQIP found measurable vitamin A losses occurred increasingly at 2,4, and 16 hours for nonfat, reduced fat, and whole milk, respectively. Moderate light-oxidized flavors were detected after 4 hours of light exposure in the whole and reduced fat milk and after 8 hours in nonfat milk. The presence of increased levels of milk fat adversely affects the flavor quality of the products following exposure to light. On the other hand, higher fat levels do appear to provide some protection against vitamin A degradation, the studies have shown. (Journal of Dairy Science 85:351-354).

 

[furax]

That's why i always keep my milk in the dungeon. I ceremonially retrieve it then pour it over young, naked, teenage girls wrestling in a kiddie pool. Then I eat some cocoa krispies, awww yeah.

 

[Nekio]

hawt

 

[Fodder]

I used to wonder why Canadians still lived in caves and royally mount their police.

Now I understand, it is because they must all be related to Genno.