Preface by saying Im sorry I know this isn't the usual type of post, but I just need to tell someone.
Im so tired of life screwing me over. 3 years ago my husband died unexpectedly. We played together for years, he loved so many characters and cried at "a smile better suits a hero". He was my red mage and I was his white mage.
I finally healed enough to play again, even though it was hard. I switched to sage and my other partner was my dragoon. And then a week ago my other partner died. 2 times widowed in 3 years in my mid thirties. And they loved this game. We cried together during endwalker, celebrated clearing savage content together, crafted and gathered together as a team. We had started an FC together, bought a lovely medium plot, interior designed the house, gotten married in game, everything. And now they are just.....gone.
I have no idea how to keep it going, if I can even keep my FC going. I think about logging in and its like the ghosts of both my loves characters are there in everything. I had intended to lay my husbands character to rest on the hill overlooking Ishgard, do a little ceremony and everything, and now the 3 years of building up to where I could handle doing that is washed away. And I have to plan how to send off both of their characters if/when im even able. My partner was super excited for Evercold and now they will never see it, never experience the changes in 8.0. The pain is so intense, carrying the memory of 2 warriors of light that will never finish the journey. I know its "just a game" but it breaks my heart thinking that their chocobos will never be called again. This game had so much meaning to all of us, but Im all thats left, alone with their memory.
The rains have ceased and we are blessed with another beautiful day, but only I remain to see it. And I absolutely hate it. My soul has been sundered twice over, and it doesnt feel like the dawn is ever coming since life just keeps breaking me as soon as I heal.
I just.........I guess I just needed someone to see this. Some other warrior of light to know and remember that they once lived. Im so broken right now.
edit Just to be clear for the concerned people out there I have no intent to self harm in any way. Im safe and have people in my house with me.
submitted by /u/Sylphinet
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Continue reading...
Im so tired of life screwing me over. 3 years ago my husband died unexpectedly. We played together for years, he loved so many characters and cried at "a smile better suits a hero". He was my red mage and I was his white mage.
I finally healed enough to play again, even though it was hard. I switched to sage and my other partner was my dragoon. And then a week ago my other partner died. 2 times widowed in 3 years in my mid thirties. And they loved this game. We cried together during endwalker, celebrated clearing savage content together, crafted and gathered together as a team. We had started an FC together, bought a lovely medium plot, interior designed the house, gotten married in game, everything. And now they are just.....gone.
I have no idea how to keep it going, if I can even keep my FC going. I think about logging in and its like the ghosts of both my loves characters are there in everything. I had intended to lay my husbands character to rest on the hill overlooking Ishgard, do a little ceremony and everything, and now the 3 years of building up to where I could handle doing that is washed away. And I have to plan how to send off both of their characters if/when im even able. My partner was super excited for Evercold and now they will never see it, never experience the changes in 8.0. The pain is so intense, carrying the memory of 2 warriors of light that will never finish the journey. I know its "just a game" but it breaks my heart thinking that their chocobos will never be called again. This game had so much meaning to all of us, but Im all thats left, alone with their memory.
The rains have ceased and we are blessed with another beautiful day, but only I remain to see it. And I absolutely hate it. My soul has been sundered twice over, and it doesnt feel like the dawn is ever coming since life just keeps breaking me as soon as I heal.
I just.........I guess I just needed someone to see this. Some other warrior of light to know and remember that they once lived. Im so broken right now.
edit Just to be clear for the concerned people out there I have no intent to self harm in any way. Im safe and have people in my house with me.
submitted by /u/Sylphinet
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...