Oooh I wish I could’ve worded the title so differently, but a moderator with sensitive feelings might frown on it, and we MUST always abide by the rules.
It’s 6:37am in the morning, and as an unapologetic degenerate with less than no moral scruples, I thought it might be a good time to deal with a delicate topic some of you decent people might feel. . .strongly about. Namely. . .handling (culling?) noobs (sprouts, beginners, etc…whatever politically correct term you wanna use) in CC matches. I know many of you have such a motherly sentiment regarding them. “Be gentle. . .let ‘em learn, help em out.” And if this were FRONTLINES, that might work. But in Cc, we all have to carry our weight, and I don’t have to cater to casuals like Yoshi and his intelligent devs do by watering everything down. And sooooo…here are 5 completely legal, game mechanic abiding ways. . .to make the life’s of new players, specifically ones TOO LAZY to properly learn the game, as sadistically agonizing as possible.
**1. Mark them on the enemy team right off the back.** Everyone should know how to mark targets in pvp. If you know a tank hasn’t gotten a clue how to protect himself, 1 over his head right at start. Focus target goes a looong way here for always knowing where they are on the map.
**2. Check dps output at match end, especially matches where you lose.** Find the people who weren’t doing squat, like in a match where the avg. was 600k, and they didn’t even break 100k. Write. Those. Names. Down. Get to know them. Those are your bread and butter go to’s when matches are close. 4 vs 5 is always in your favor when the guy who hasn’t got a clue gets insta-poofed.
**3. Bleed them.** I particularly enjoy pulling this. If you catch a stray, especially one who doesn’t know sprint or potion popping, bleed them, meaning, get them to critically low Hp, but DON’T kill them. Let ‘em just run around with 1 hit kill potential as long as possible. If they’re smart, they’ll just linger in the backround. If not, free kill for the next aoe/ stray bullet.
**4. Torture Healers.** Mnks, Vprs, and Gnbs, looking at you. If a healer doesn’t know how to defend themselves, become their intimate shadow(again CHECK the healing outputs after matches). Because there’s not currently post spawn invulnerability once they jump down, I’d suggest camping them. Minute they jump down, send em right back up in a fresh body bag. Even when another teammate spawns, it’s possible to fight them, because, well, the healer has no clue.
**5. Deny Them Heals.** I KNOW that one just hit some of your empathetic spots. Don’t care. Dead weight is dead weight. This isn’t necessary game advancing pve, this is 10 year old crippled pvp, and when someone KEEPS queing who has no interest in improving, let them feel the error of their ways. It’s not like healers are required to play waifu-style nursing anymore anyway. All the more for ones who aren’t contributing.
There IS a #6, but it’s probably a no no, so I won’t say it. Anyway, have fun and please go out your way to make the experience of people too lazy to do their time in front of a training dummy or shout partner at the den as agonizingly painful as possible. Toxicity is love.
Continue reading...
It’s 6:37am in the morning, and as an unapologetic degenerate with less than no moral scruples, I thought it might be a good time to deal with a delicate topic some of you decent people might feel. . .strongly about. Namely. . .handling (culling?) noobs (sprouts, beginners, etc…whatever politically correct term you wanna use) in CC matches. I know many of you have such a motherly sentiment regarding them. “Be gentle. . .let ‘em learn, help em out.” And if this were FRONTLINES, that might work. But in Cc, we all have to carry our weight, and I don’t have to cater to casuals like Yoshi and his intelligent devs do by watering everything down. And sooooo…here are 5 completely legal, game mechanic abiding ways. . .to make the life’s of new players, specifically ones TOO LAZY to properly learn the game, as sadistically agonizing as possible.
**1. Mark them on the enemy team right off the back.** Everyone should know how to mark targets in pvp. If you know a tank hasn’t gotten a clue how to protect himself, 1 over his head right at start. Focus target goes a looong way here for always knowing where they are on the map.
**2. Check dps output at match end, especially matches where you lose.** Find the people who weren’t doing squat, like in a match where the avg. was 600k, and they didn’t even break 100k. Write. Those. Names. Down. Get to know them. Those are your bread and butter go to’s when matches are close. 4 vs 5 is always in your favor when the guy who hasn’t got a clue gets insta-poofed.
**3. Bleed them.** I particularly enjoy pulling this. If you catch a stray, especially one who doesn’t know sprint or potion popping, bleed them, meaning, get them to critically low Hp, but DON’T kill them. Let ‘em just run around with 1 hit kill potential as long as possible. If they’re smart, they’ll just linger in the backround. If not, free kill for the next aoe/ stray bullet.
**4. Torture Healers.** Mnks, Vprs, and Gnbs, looking at you. If a healer doesn’t know how to defend themselves, become their intimate shadow(again CHECK the healing outputs after matches). Because there’s not currently post spawn invulnerability once they jump down, I’d suggest camping them. Minute they jump down, send em right back up in a fresh body bag. Even when another teammate spawns, it’s possible to fight them, because, well, the healer has no clue.
**5. Deny Them Heals.** I KNOW that one just hit some of your empathetic spots. Don’t care. Dead weight is dead weight. This isn’t necessary game advancing pve, this is 10 year old crippled pvp, and when someone KEEPS queing who has no interest in improving, let them feel the error of their ways. It’s not like healers are required to play waifu-style nursing anymore anyway. All the more for ones who aren’t contributing.
There IS a #6, but it’s probably a no no, so I won’t say it. Anyway, have fun and please go out your way to make the experience of people too lazy to do their time in front of a training dummy or shout partner at the den as agonizingly painful as possible. Toxicity is love.
Continue reading...