Off Tank Stance?

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Basic (and most likely dumb) question IMO. As an off tank am I supposed to have my tank stance on for the whole fight? I really only run normal content. And rarely extreme fights. I don't know how stuff is handled in savage fights. If that matters.

I was running E6 for the first time as WAR. Had a GNB co-tank. They seemed pretty intent on MT since they rushed in head first with their tank stance on (Along with their comments about all the deaths that were about to happen being sacrifices or some crap like that). So I took the off tank position. We had a lot of deaths including the GNB. So I switched on my tank stance and provoked to grab the boss. Rest is irrelevant. We wiped.

Before the second try they asked me to leave my tank stance on. I didn't think it was a good idea but I did it anyway because I wasn't in the mood for an argument and it didn't look like they were going to pull until I put Defiance on. As expected aggro kept bouncing between the two of us. So stuff like tankbusters targeted me when myself and maybe the healers didn't expect it. We wiped again.

Before the third try I said Id just keep Defiance off until the GNB died because aggro was bouncing all over the place. So I did. We actually cleared this time and unsurprisingly I got the snarky remark "btw shirk is a thing tanks can use". Problem is I WAS using shirk! As of right now at least, its not really something that can be spammed. Our interaction pretty much ended with me saying "It was on cooldown".

So please tell me. Am I right or wrong for leaving tank stance off when I'm not MTing and there are no adds to be picked up?

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