Hi all, throwaway because I'm embarrassed.
I started playing exactly two months ago after two years of wondering how an MMO's story was so good it was making people cry. I picked DRG (I know the jokes are writing themselves), and blazed through the MSQ. I wasn't trying to rush it, I just really enjoyed the story (I even loved ARR), and was really afraid of encountering spoilers. I haven't been doing any side content/extras/other classes, as I wanted to save those for after MSQ. I caught up to 5.4 after around 260 hours — it's a great game and I love it!
Anyway, I know what my rotation is and throughout the MSQ I made sure I looked up what it was up to that point, I knew not to run off with stack markers, don't stand in evil orange stuff, etc., and was reading my tooltips so that I wasn't being willfully obtuse. I do mess the rotation up sometimes though and find myself looking at the crossbar, and have died to mechanics/not running out of AOE's quickly enough. So I knew I wasn't great because others in my parties were doing a lot better, but no one ever said anything about how I played so I didn't think I was horrible either. I always let people know it was my first time, asked what I died to, and sometimes people gave tips/heads up about mechanics; no one's been mean though.
Fast forward to yesterday I was doing Eden Fulmination (Normal/Story), my first optional content. I thought the previous Edens were pretty darn easy but I died a few times in Fulmination. Someone in there suggested I look at a guide before I even attempt anything for the first time; I haven't been doing that because I didn't want to see spoilers, but I took it to heart and did so for Furor. It looked really tough (two of em!?) but I watched a video and thought I could handle it...
...Oh my god that was the most embarrassing thing I've ever done in my life!! I saw what the feathers did in the video and I still stood in the wrong place and died instantly! And I kept dying and dying right after rez, and got more and more nervous/upset that I just completely forgot how to do anything and was basically contributing nothing at all. I must have died like 9 times and I started blushing so hard I eventually just shut off my PS4. I know it's probably not good etiquette to leave in the middle of a dungeon but honestly they were better off just getting another person because all I was doing was having the RDM peel me off the floor. No one even said anything, it was just getting too much for me. T__T
Since then I've been too scared to touch Eden (yes, Normal!) until I'm actually competent and have been trying out tanking for the first time (DRK, everyone's been really nice and given feedback when asked) and DNC (haven't tried it out in an actual dungeon yet though) to cool off. I've been keeping myself up all night reading guides, practicing on training dummies, discovered expanded controller, unlocked SSS, etc. I was feeling okay about things again until I was looking at glamours that you can only get by doing A8S, and I just got reminded of my Furor trauma again, because if I can't even do Normal content how am I gonna do Savage!? Well, I know the answer is practice, but still. I'm traumatized!
Anyway, I'm not sure if anyone is going to read this, it's reaaally long, but I just needed to vent, I guess. ToT I don't think I'm wanting people to tell me I'm not actually bad, because I know I'm bad. Maybe I'm also wondering if there are others like me, or how long it took them to get better, or maybe the most times they died in a dungeon (!?)... I dunno. I wish I still had my sprout so at least my awfulness was excusable! I made it all the way through the MSQ, I shouldn't be this bad. I don't have anxiety issues and I'm not a minor, I'm honestly just being a dork. But also I think I must be in a really good spot if the only problem in my life right now is being bad at video games! If you read this, thanks for your time, I don't have anyone else to vent to about this hahaha.
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I started playing exactly two months ago after two years of wondering how an MMO's story was so good it was making people cry. I picked DRG (I know the jokes are writing themselves), and blazed through the MSQ. I wasn't trying to rush it, I just really enjoyed the story (I even loved ARR), and was really afraid of encountering spoilers. I haven't been doing any side content/extras/other classes, as I wanted to save those for after MSQ. I caught up to 5.4 after around 260 hours — it's a great game and I love it!
Anyway, I know what my rotation is and throughout the MSQ I made sure I looked up what it was up to that point, I knew not to run off with stack markers, don't stand in evil orange stuff, etc., and was reading my tooltips so that I wasn't being willfully obtuse. I do mess the rotation up sometimes though and find myself looking at the crossbar, and have died to mechanics/not running out of AOE's quickly enough. So I knew I wasn't great because others in my parties were doing a lot better, but no one ever said anything about how I played so I didn't think I was horrible either. I always let people know it was my first time, asked what I died to, and sometimes people gave tips/heads up about mechanics; no one's been mean though.
Fast forward to yesterday I was doing Eden Fulmination (Normal/Story), my first optional content. I thought the previous Edens were pretty darn easy but I died a few times in Fulmination. Someone in there suggested I look at a guide before I even attempt anything for the first time; I haven't been doing that because I didn't want to see spoilers, but I took it to heart and did so for Furor. It looked really tough (two of em!?) but I watched a video and thought I could handle it...
...Oh my god that was the most embarrassing thing I've ever done in my life!! I saw what the feathers did in the video and I still stood in the wrong place and died instantly! And I kept dying and dying right after rez, and got more and more nervous/upset that I just completely forgot how to do anything and was basically contributing nothing at all. I must have died like 9 times and I started blushing so hard I eventually just shut off my PS4. I know it's probably not good etiquette to leave in the middle of a dungeon but honestly they were better off just getting another person because all I was doing was having the RDM peel me off the floor. No one even said anything, it was just getting too much for me. T__T
Since then I've been too scared to touch Eden (yes, Normal!) until I'm actually competent and have been trying out tanking for the first time (DRK, everyone's been really nice and given feedback when asked) and DNC (haven't tried it out in an actual dungeon yet though) to cool off. I've been keeping myself up all night reading guides, practicing on training dummies, discovered expanded controller, unlocked SSS, etc. I was feeling okay about things again until I was looking at glamours that you can only get by doing A8S, and I just got reminded of my Furor trauma again, because if I can't even do Normal content how am I gonna do Savage!? Well, I know the answer is practice, but still. I'm traumatized!
Anyway, I'm not sure if anyone is going to read this, it's reaaally long, but I just needed to vent, I guess. ToT I don't think I'm wanting people to tell me I'm not actually bad, because I know I'm bad. Maybe I'm also wondering if there are others like me, or how long it took them to get better, or maybe the most times they died in a dungeon (!?)... I dunno. I wish I still had my sprout so at least my awfulness was excusable! I made it all the way through the MSQ, I shouldn't be this bad. I don't have anxiety issues and I'm not a minor, I'm honestly just being a dork. But also I think I must be in a really good spot if the only problem in my life right now is being bad at video games! If you read this, thanks for your time, I don't have anyone else to vent to about this hahaha.
submitted by /u/ffxivFLOP
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