Throwaway account, because I know the kind of flack that I'm about to get hit with.
Where to even begin? I've been here, continuously, since 2013. Those first couple of years were great; I was working with an active, friendly FC, clearing content (worked my way through coil while it was actually relevant), was always up on my extreme clears, had people I liked to hang out with.
Heavensward rolls around, things are still trucking along, until we get some new people in the FC; these guys are *hardcore*, walking in with savage coil titles, from back when that meant something. I get dumped on benchwarming duty; pretty much get to come along for reclears and the like. Fine; I'm still clearing content, whatever.
Midas releases.The FC shatters after a few weeks; the leadership and many of the officers go back to WoW, a lot of people leave the world. I head to another world with one of them, looking for a fresh start.They end up quitting the game shortly after, as well. And I never clear Alexander during Heavensward.
Stormblood.
"Okay, I've been through worse before. Alexander was too hard to pug; I'm sure I'll be just fine in Omega."Manage to pug my way through O1S and O2S. Going great!O3S is a brick wall I can't seem to get over without a static. I have weird hours that shuffle weekly. After a month of trying to PF it, I give up. I get a single EX doggo, get slapped with a bout of deep depression, give up on farming mounts til 5.0 and exit stage right into Shadowbringers.
Decide to form a discord server for people with weird hours who just want to clear stuff; form sort of a semi-static of people to run with. Clear the first two EX trials with ease. Feeling good about myself. Eden releases; many people are having success just pugging the savage fights, so how bad can it be? I've got a stable of "friends" to run with now. Spend almost a month and a half, one night a week (managed to secure a night off) with these guys, raiding E1S late into the night (in reality, slamming my face into a wall at high speed while fewer and fewer people show up for raids they signed up for, while I personally found the fight not that difficult.)
My inner voice kicks in. *"Its you. You're bringing in different people every week, but the only consistent thing is you. This is your fault."*
I give up. The second tier comes out, I become an omnicrafter. My inner voice screams that I haven't earned the right to proceed to the second tier, because I didn't finish the first. I don't even attempt it. I briefly rekindle, work my way through Memoria Misera extreme, get it on farm, pentameld my armor. Feeling good, but nobody is learning Ruby or Hades anymore.I stop doing EX trials, because I don't want to get blamed for wipes on "easy" content, because I don't think I can shake the rust off anymore. I finish Baldesian Arsenal, because theres nothing to do til Bozjan.
I cap out Bozja in two days, mounts included. I avoid even trying the duels, because I won't win. I can't win.
I have nothing.
I set up learning parties in PF, but I don't hit confirm. I talk to people, help out sprouts, answer their questions, craft for them, help them with old content, all the while knowing that they'll go on to do all the cool stuff I can't do in this game. I know I shouldn't place so much value in clearing content, but I really used to knock it out; here, in WoW, even a bit in Ragnarok Online (I'm in my 30s, bite me.) and part of me can't let that go.
Thanks for the read. Feels good to just get this all typed out. Have a nice day.
submitted by /u/DisposablePaladin
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...
Where to even begin? I've been here, continuously, since 2013. Those first couple of years were great; I was working with an active, friendly FC, clearing content (worked my way through coil while it was actually relevant), was always up on my extreme clears, had people I liked to hang out with.
Heavensward rolls around, things are still trucking along, until we get some new people in the FC; these guys are *hardcore*, walking in with savage coil titles, from back when that meant something. I get dumped on benchwarming duty; pretty much get to come along for reclears and the like. Fine; I'm still clearing content, whatever.
Midas releases.The FC shatters after a few weeks; the leadership and many of the officers go back to WoW, a lot of people leave the world. I head to another world with one of them, looking for a fresh start.They end up quitting the game shortly after, as well. And I never clear Alexander during Heavensward.
Stormblood.
"Okay, I've been through worse before. Alexander was too hard to pug; I'm sure I'll be just fine in Omega."Manage to pug my way through O1S and O2S. Going great!O3S is a brick wall I can't seem to get over without a static. I have weird hours that shuffle weekly. After a month of trying to PF it, I give up. I get a single EX doggo, get slapped with a bout of deep depression, give up on farming mounts til 5.0 and exit stage right into Shadowbringers.
Decide to form a discord server for people with weird hours who just want to clear stuff; form sort of a semi-static of people to run with. Clear the first two EX trials with ease. Feeling good about myself. Eden releases; many people are having success just pugging the savage fights, so how bad can it be? I've got a stable of "friends" to run with now. Spend almost a month and a half, one night a week (managed to secure a night off) with these guys, raiding E1S late into the night (in reality, slamming my face into a wall at high speed while fewer and fewer people show up for raids they signed up for, while I personally found the fight not that difficult.)
My inner voice kicks in. *"Its you. You're bringing in different people every week, but the only consistent thing is you. This is your fault."*
I give up. The second tier comes out, I become an omnicrafter. My inner voice screams that I haven't earned the right to proceed to the second tier, because I didn't finish the first. I don't even attempt it. I briefly rekindle, work my way through Memoria Misera extreme, get it on farm, pentameld my armor. Feeling good, but nobody is learning Ruby or Hades anymore.I stop doing EX trials, because I don't want to get blamed for wipes on "easy" content, because I don't think I can shake the rust off anymore. I finish Baldesian Arsenal, because theres nothing to do til Bozjan.
I cap out Bozja in two days, mounts included. I avoid even trying the duels, because I won't win. I can't win.
I have nothing.
I set up learning parties in PF, but I don't hit confirm. I talk to people, help out sprouts, answer their questions, craft for them, help them with old content, all the while knowing that they'll go on to do all the cool stuff I can't do in this game. I know I shouldn't place so much value in clearing content, but I really used to knock it out; here, in WoW, even a bit in Ragnarok Online (I'm in my 30s, bite me.) and part of me can't let that go.
Thanks for the read. Feels good to just get this all typed out. Have a nice day.
submitted by /u/DisposablePaladin
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...