I...-crashes- Am...-crashes- Experiencing... -crashes- Multiple... -crashes- Crashes.

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Kay now that my coping snark is out of the way... I have multiple cases of very much variety of different types of crashes since I have come back to ff14, I had no trouble with ShB on launch, I'd say last time I was on was hades ex was introduced? I have made zero changes since I last played before this patch. Have tried dx9, since dx11 is instant hard crash to desktop, but to no avail. Have graphics settings set to potato mode, fps locked at 60 fps, sound muted and still crashes, now refuses to launch now after the last crash.(It is stuck in an eternal not responding black screen as I am typing this right now)
I shall now link most of the crashes I have screenshotted, note the ones without error reports were instant to desktop crashes.
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As you can see the error reports are all unique, not one time where they were the same error, which leads me to believe this might not be a me issue, but an issue outside of my control.

EDIT: and as of me adding this, the game is still in not responding which it has been like this for over a half hour now.

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