Having Trouble Maturing Enough To Do Extreme Content

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I had started the game back in late 2016, and I've been playing since, but had kept to casual content. No ultimates, no savages, not even extremes (not from the current content at least). Slowly I feel like it's time to step up my game, but I already fail at doing unsynched fights from Stormblood.

I am willing to believe that maybe my gear could be nearer to the current ceiling, and I likely don't have the best food around for the fights, but I feel certain that failing at the mechanics or not managing to heal everyone in time are far bigger problems. During some fights I can even lose my mind, as I get lost in everything that's happening on screen. Likely not the best thing to do as a healer.

I wanted to know: What are some tips for a clumsy scaredy-cat casual who loses his head when stressed, and would like to ease his way into extreme trials? Is healer a bit too rough for that type of person?

I'd appreciate the input, thank you

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