I've been a White Mage since ARR Release. At around the end of Heavensward, thanks to only being able to PUG extremes, I started to develop a very unhealthy mindset:
Comparing other players to myself.
I'm the type of player that tries to go 110% in every instance, even something as simple as a 4-man dungeon. I don't think I'm in some sort of elite cadre, I just enjoy pushing myself and perfecting my uptime and situational awareness.
On top of that, as a lifetime healer, other player's mistakes stand out that much more. That lead to thoughts of "How is that player getting hit? How are they messing up such easy mechanics? Are they here just to waste people's time?"
That led to, over the years, becoming more and more bitter over the tiniest of mistakes- after all, I would never do that unless I was trying to mess up the party on purpose! They must be doing the same, right?
Recently, I took a long break from the game: several months, logging in just to do the story, cap tomes and take care of plants. And then, I finally understood a piece of Russian wisdom-
"Is just gaem. Why u heff to be mad?"
I finally internalized that there's no point getting annoyed about the performance of other players, because it's not somewhing within my control. I'm already doing my best. But I realized there was something else I could control.
Being positive.
Striking up conversations in chat. Praising groups at the end of runs even if they weren't perfect. Kicking back so I can actually enjoy this game that I love.
It's uncomparably healthier for myself, and I might just make someone's day a little bit better. And I finally realized that's more important than seething at someone just because they're dealing less damage than me.
Perhaps one day I can go back to pugging Extremes while maintaining this mindset. Perhaps I'll just stay as a casual. But whichever way I go, I'll stay focused on a new goal:
Having fun.
submitted by /u/CenobiaVigantzky
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Continue reading...
Comparing other players to myself.
I'm the type of player that tries to go 110% in every instance, even something as simple as a 4-man dungeon. I don't think I'm in some sort of elite cadre, I just enjoy pushing myself and perfecting my uptime and situational awareness.
On top of that, as a lifetime healer, other player's mistakes stand out that much more. That lead to thoughts of "How is that player getting hit? How are they messing up such easy mechanics? Are they here just to waste people's time?"
That led to, over the years, becoming more and more bitter over the tiniest of mistakes- after all, I would never do that unless I was trying to mess up the party on purpose! They must be doing the same, right?
Recently, I took a long break from the game: several months, logging in just to do the story, cap tomes and take care of plants. And then, I finally understood a piece of Russian wisdom-
"Is just gaem. Why u heff to be mad?"
I finally internalized that there's no point getting annoyed about the performance of other players, because it's not somewhing within my control. I'm already doing my best. But I realized there was something else I could control.
Being positive.
Striking up conversations in chat. Praising groups at the end of runs even if they weren't perfect. Kicking back so I can actually enjoy this game that I love.
It's uncomparably healthier for myself, and I might just make someone's day a little bit better. And I finally realized that's more important than seething at someone just because they're dealing less damage than me.
Perhaps one day I can go back to pugging Extremes while maintaining this mindset. Perhaps I'll just stay as a casual. But whichever way I go, I'll stay focused on a new goal:
Having fun.
submitted by /u/CenobiaVigantzky
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...