What Crazy Things Do Your Retainers Get Up To?

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As we all know, retainers to the warriors of light/darkness are some of the most patient albeit terrifying people. They have to sell our things, hold our inventory for years on end, wear the crap or terrible glamours that we give them on our cast off gear- even have to act and speak in front of us according to our whims all for the sake of a couple of venture coins every few eorzean days

Yet what happens when we ask them to go out on a quick exploration? They come back with all sorts of things. Fish, building parts, raid weapons, dyes... and sometimes the sheer fact they have these items leads to all sorts of curious stories

Case in point for my retainers:

Back in stormblood, my hunting retainer beat O4S and gave me a Genji Naginata before I had even cleared O2s. I was legitimately frightened as she was level 64 same as my DRG at the time.

My botanist gave me several pieces of shirogane housing of various kinds. When I next went to shirogane, I found a demolished house not far from my FC building

Yesterday and this as what prompted this thread, my miner retainer sold 2 spare pure white dye for me for 600k gil. When she came back from the venture, she came back with 2 pure white dye. She then did it again with jet black dye

Poor fishing retainer hasn't been around very long yet...but that's not stopped her from apparently going back in time and acquiring a sunburst headgear of casting from Diadem 1.0


I'm convinced though most of the time two of my retainers spend their time on the beach or at the diadem. I keep getting fish and Sky rat X pieces from them

What crazy things have your retainers done?

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