So I need to take the next few minutes to write about something that's near and dear to me, not because I actually care but because haha; ANYWAY I need to inform you all that the Machinist is not, in fact, the most cowboy of jobs in Final Fantasy. In this essay, I will tell you why the most cowboy of jobs is, in fact, sage. This is a thesis by harkwit. Anyway so the reasons Sage is the objectively most cowboy job in the game is thusfold:
anyway thank you for attending this ted talk I advise all cowboy machinists to change jobs at this time, thank u :SwagPray:
submitted by /u/Harkwit
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...
- Sage stance. They hold the wide-hipped, horse straddlin' stance of a yeehawboy ready to gidderup, and the swagger to boot.
- Guns. You think a proper cowboy would settle for one gun? FUCK no. a real, genuine cowboy would want FOUR guns. FOUR GUNS THAT FLOAT. That's extra gunslingin' potential, partner.
- Animations: Many Sage healing animations involve a firm, enthusiastic, and quick thrust of their fist in the air. This is indicative of a cowpoke's history of testin cow asses for disfigurements, you hear me?
- Machinists shoot pee bullets. You think a proper cowboy feller would waste time hauling around some hip purse that shoots nothing but PISS? Hell no, he'd be efficient, he'd figure out a way to make that shit FLOAT, and not require ANY hip purse. And shoot LASERS.
anyway thank you for attending this ted talk I advise all cowboy machinists to change jobs at this time, thank u :SwagPray:
submitted by /u/Harkwit
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...