This is a throwaway account because i know people in my FC use reddit and I have not told anyone I’m autistic and don’t want them to find out right now. For that reason, I’m also going to keep this vague, I hope that is okay. I also don’t really have a TLDR so if you’re not trying to read, I apologize lol.
When I started this game, I fully expected to play solo. Not that I particularly wanted to, I just know I’m pretty awkward and I just didn’t ever expect people to want to talk to me. But in the few months I’ve been playing, I’ve gotten married, I’ve joined a static, I’ve not only joined a huge FC but I was very recently promoted in the FC and help events run smoothly.
These have been some of the best and worst things for me.
I get so excited to play because, for the first time in a while, I feel like I fit in. But when I get off the game, I realize I don’t actually fit in. I spend the rest of my night relaying the dumb things I said today, wondering if people can tell I’m autistic and are just being nice to me out of pity, or wondering if people who I’ve had slight disagreements with in the past still think badly of me and convince other people to think badly of me. The pity thing is probably one of my biggest fears ever. It’s just so embarrassing. Every week I consider how badly I want to quit my FC and static due to how socially drained I feel, even when they are all good days good days.
If I could have what I have now, but on a smaller scale, like a smaller FC where I’m not in charge of anything and a static that has the same goals, I think that would be perfect. But I don’t know if I’ll ever fit in like this again. I’ve met so many people on this server, if I threw it away, it would definitely have to be a complete server and name change just to avoid the embarrassment of having to see the nice people I dipped on because all I ever do is run from my problems.
submitted by /u/throwawayASDGamer
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When I started this game, I fully expected to play solo. Not that I particularly wanted to, I just know I’m pretty awkward and I just didn’t ever expect people to want to talk to me. But in the few months I’ve been playing, I’ve gotten married, I’ve joined a static, I’ve not only joined a huge FC but I was very recently promoted in the FC and help events run smoothly.
These have been some of the best and worst things for me.
I get so excited to play because, for the first time in a while, I feel like I fit in. But when I get off the game, I realize I don’t actually fit in. I spend the rest of my night relaying the dumb things I said today, wondering if people can tell I’m autistic and are just being nice to me out of pity, or wondering if people who I’ve had slight disagreements with in the past still think badly of me and convince other people to think badly of me. The pity thing is probably one of my biggest fears ever. It’s just so embarrassing. Every week I consider how badly I want to quit my FC and static due to how socially drained I feel, even when they are all good days good days.
If I could have what I have now, but on a smaller scale, like a smaller FC where I’m not in charge of anything and a static that has the same goals, I think that would be perfect. But I don’t know if I’ll ever fit in like this again. I’ve met so many people on this server, if I threw it away, it would definitely have to be a complete server and name change just to avoid the embarrassment of having to see the nice people I dipped on because all I ever do is run from my problems.
submitted by /u/throwawayASDGamer
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...