Before i go ahead, some background and what ff14 had been for me.
I am Hina Rin from Behemoth from the FC [TTTT], well back when i would play that is. some of you also know me as Ri'se from kujata from the fc [RISE]. i had been playing ff14 for 4 years prior to me leaving the game in May. i was your neighbourhood tome-and-glamour-farming SCH who was up for anything and everything, making some really good friends and memories in this game.
around 6 months back, life started going downhill for me , i lost everything, my family broke, i lost my college seat, i fell into addiction, i ended up losing all my friends, motivation, will to work and live, and went into a lot of trouble and i made a number of questionable decisions in life, leading to the point... i took some bad steps, and i am lucky i am still here.
I recently came out of rehab and therapy, and was not in the best of states. I could not play as one of the side effects of my life going off track was that i had to sell my pc so that i could afford my therapy. So i sorta left gaming behind in life and went ahead, trying to erase its existance in my life to reduce
1 week back, something simple yet wonderful happened.
I was allowed to get my phone back, and i rediscovered a few old ff14 YouTube channels, which i was watching before i went off grid. (Larryzaur, Drak, i love you guys, for randomly appearing on my YT and it has made a significant change in my days. Fahros, MTQCapture, Arthas, this led me to end up in your streams on Twitch and idk how long i have been lurkng of different streams, big and small).
in the past 3 months, i haven't had a single day i had laughed, and enjoyed so much i had in the past week. I am not able to play, but i am able to live the lives again, through you, the community. It reminds me of progging raids with FC and duty finder on my SCH during the last days of SB (Nep thanks for teaching me to heal less), or sitting for 12 hours straight in Eureka making new friends every instance. Or just plain enjoying the story, at the end the chronicles of WoL kept me in the game so long.
I sat and cheered for hours as i watched people prog through Alexander ultimate (arguably my favorite raid), and just seeing people achieve something made me happy. it was fun. as much as SE does a great job in its content, this community was fun, friendly, and warm.
ever since that day, i have been getting with terms with my situation, moving on, as i saw, there are things to look forward to, big and small. I wanna hang around you guys again, do silly stuff, have fun, and live a good story, once again. I am starting Uni this week again, and honestly, i wouldn't be able to come out of my room if the content of this community didn't become the sole thing to connect back to me.
This has also lead me to go back to my hobbies which i dropped along the lines.
Ill be there again today, in someone's stream, Exploring Eorzea from the community's eyes. I want to play ShB, i want to enjoy too but life is not with me, i have way too much on hand before i can even get myself a laptop which can do University stuff, let alone game..
But still guys, you guys rock, this community, is beautiful. And i hope i can somehow someday be able to PF with this community again. (its Christmas soon, i should write to Santa maybe, maybe i get a laptop as an early birthday gift XD jk jk)
and well, If anyone recognises the Toon names i put up, HMU. i don't have any discord links to my FCs so i cannot come by sadly. but id LOVE to talk to people again, i am still not perfect in what i was in social skills.. but ill try make it work
Be awesome community, always. people like me look upto you for hope!
Hina Rin
submitted by /u/Rise83
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...
I am Hina Rin from Behemoth from the FC [TTTT], well back when i would play that is. some of you also know me as Ri'se from kujata from the fc [RISE]. i had been playing ff14 for 4 years prior to me leaving the game in May. i was your neighbourhood tome-and-glamour-farming SCH who was up for anything and everything, making some really good friends and memories in this game.
around 6 months back, life started going downhill for me , i lost everything, my family broke, i lost my college seat, i fell into addiction, i ended up losing all my friends, motivation, will to work and live, and went into a lot of trouble and i made a number of questionable decisions in life, leading to the point... i took some bad steps, and i am lucky i am still here.
I recently came out of rehab and therapy, and was not in the best of states. I could not play as one of the side effects of my life going off track was that i had to sell my pc so that i could afford my therapy. So i sorta left gaming behind in life and went ahead, trying to erase its existance in my life to reduce
1 week back, something simple yet wonderful happened.
I was allowed to get my phone back, and i rediscovered a few old ff14 YouTube channels, which i was watching before i went off grid. (Larryzaur, Drak, i love you guys, for randomly appearing on my YT and it has made a significant change in my days. Fahros, MTQCapture, Arthas, this led me to end up in your streams on Twitch and idk how long i have been lurkng of different streams, big and small).
in the past 3 months, i haven't had a single day i had laughed, and enjoyed so much i had in the past week. I am not able to play, but i am able to live the lives again, through you, the community. It reminds me of progging raids with FC and duty finder on my SCH during the last days of SB (Nep thanks for teaching me to heal less), or sitting for 12 hours straight in Eureka making new friends every instance. Or just plain enjoying the story, at the end the chronicles of WoL kept me in the game so long.
I sat and cheered for hours as i watched people prog through Alexander ultimate (arguably my favorite raid), and just seeing people achieve something made me happy. it was fun. as much as SE does a great job in its content, this community was fun, friendly, and warm.
ever since that day, i have been getting with terms with my situation, moving on, as i saw, there are things to look forward to, big and small. I wanna hang around you guys again, do silly stuff, have fun, and live a good story, once again. I am starting Uni this week again, and honestly, i wouldn't be able to come out of my room if the content of this community didn't become the sole thing to connect back to me.
This has also lead me to go back to my hobbies which i dropped along the lines.
Ill be there again today, in someone's stream, Exploring Eorzea from the community's eyes. I want to play ShB, i want to enjoy too but life is not with me, i have way too much on hand before i can even get myself a laptop which can do University stuff, let alone game..
But still guys, you guys rock, this community, is beautiful. And i hope i can somehow someday be able to PF with this community again. (its Christmas soon, i should write to Santa maybe, maybe i get a laptop as an early birthday gift XD jk jk)
and well, If anyone recognises the Toon names i put up, HMU. i don't have any discord links to my FCs so i cannot come by sadly. but id LOVE to talk to people again, i am still not perfect in what i was in social skills.. but ill try make it work
Be awesome community, always. people like me look upto you for hope!
Hina Rin
submitted by /u/Rise83
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...