You know, it'll never happend, full blown healer-boycott, but just the chance to make a dent and shake SE's ivory tower so they'll have to peer over the railing upon their creation and wonder why there's disgruntled frowns about doing the same old thirty second routine of 12 step-and-turn dance that was banned in Tadfield in '59 for inducing lethargy.
Wouldn't it be grand if when 5.1 hit, nobody played ast, sch or whm? Just for a while. Sure, some might not read this, some not care, some hypnotized by 2P's thighs or just play healers to spite this boycott. But imagine, new story dungeon and a long-awaited 24-man raid. And everyone had to wait up to hours upon hours for healer slots to fill. SE would hopefully step out of their parlor, with a lavish crown a top their head and velvet robes flapping behind them, rows of thralls following carrying food, fruit and wine in golden cups. "What is this?" they'd demand "Why aren't you quacks signing up to do new content? And keep it quick I've got dps jobs to balance." And there'd be no response because all healers slept soundly in their beds.
Only after the deaths of several advisors and jesters did King SE slump on their throne, asking "Sigh, dear Percy, these healers will the death of me. I could excommunicate them but then I'd lose taxes. Why aren't they healing?" "Because they are bored sire." "But I gave them shiny new heals! Made them have just one single devastating spell! Even brained that fairy and turned every card the same so they'd not have to think." "It would seem they enjoyed it more before, your radiance." "Did they? Phaw. I can't be bothered with this. Dear Percy, my old friend, please fix this." "Very well, m'lord." And, lo, Percy ventured out to the Healers, waited until the day they woke, had cleaned, eaten and dressed themselves, then hold a grand council. There he asked "What do you want for your job?" and just listened. While the suggestions were varied, ranged from realistic to fantastic, one thing became very clear to Percy: Having one nuke and one dot for 78 levels really was unmitigated bum.
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Wouldn't it be grand if when 5.1 hit, nobody played ast, sch or whm? Just for a while. Sure, some might not read this, some not care, some hypnotized by 2P's thighs or just play healers to spite this boycott. But imagine, new story dungeon and a long-awaited 24-man raid. And everyone had to wait up to hours upon hours for healer slots to fill. SE would hopefully step out of their parlor, with a lavish crown a top their head and velvet robes flapping behind them, rows of thralls following carrying food, fruit and wine in golden cups. "What is this?" they'd demand "Why aren't you quacks signing up to do new content? And keep it quick I've got dps jobs to balance." And there'd be no response because all healers slept soundly in their beds.
Only after the deaths of several advisors and jesters did King SE slump on their throne, asking "Sigh, dear Percy, these healers will the death of me. I could excommunicate them but then I'd lose taxes. Why aren't they healing?" "Because they are bored sire." "But I gave them shiny new heals! Made them have just one single devastating spell! Even brained that fairy and turned every card the same so they'd not have to think." "It would seem they enjoyed it more before, your radiance." "Did they? Phaw. I can't be bothered with this. Dear Percy, my old friend, please fix this." "Very well, m'lord." And, lo, Percy ventured out to the Healers, waited until the day they woke, had cleaned, eaten and dressed themselves, then hold a grand council. There he asked "What do you want for your job?" and just listened. While the suggestions were varied, ranged from realistic to fantastic, one thing became very clear to Percy: Having one nuke and one dot for 78 levels really was unmitigated bum.
Continue reading...